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[inthebiblicalsense]

[In a very serious, business tone, Abel's answering machine sounds after any attempted calls that aren't responded to right away.]

You've reached Abel. I am not available at the moment, but I'll get back to you as soon as I can. If this is urgent, leave the line open.

And if this is Fitz I hope you're having a good day.

Comments

[reargunner]

It isn't as if he's not told bits and pieces of what happened to people to try and explain how he reacts to certain things, but what Abel is saying feels... different.

"Well, what..."

Why does it feel weird?

He tries to settle back down, resting his head against Abel's shoulder again and holding him in close.

"... What would you tell him?"

[inthebiblicalsense]

When Cain settles back down, Abel shifts a little, an arm around him, hand running gentle through his hair. "Just, what happened I suppose...I won't go too into detail with what you did, but I can't tell it without you in it, because it would be obvious I'm leaving things out."

He turns so that he can catch Cain's eye, "But I won't, if you don't want me to. Talk to me, what are you thinking about? Jacob's history is...well. I don't think anything you've done would turn him away from you if you were worried about it."

[reargunner]

He gives an abrupt, sharp snort.

"I don't give a shit about that."

And that's a lie, but it's a lie he needs to tell himself because he knows the Barge has a way of bringing things out whether you want them to be seen or not, that eventually it will happen to him, and he needs to not care about it so he doesn't think about it.

"I just—..." A shrug. "Don't see how what happened with us is gonna do anything for him."

He frowns against Abel's shoulder, curling his fingers into the other man's shirt.

"But tell him what you want."

[inthebiblicalsense]

Abel does his best to hide his immediate doubt at Cain's jerk reaction. While he agrees that happened between them is no ones business, there are similar beats to their story that tie in with Jacob.

"I just want to tell him a story about devotion that doesn't end in sacrifice." Because he feels like he needs to hear it. There are far better things to do with your life than die. Abel tucks his chin on top of Cain's head, pulling him a little closer.

"Especially after all he's helped me with. And don't tell him I said that, he's a gruff asshole, and I don't want it to go to his head."

[reargunner]

He still doesn't see the use of it, and one of the bigger things that he's been entirely avoiding confronting - even admitting to the possibility of - creeps up dark and cold in the back of his mind as he listens to Abel talking.

A story that doesn't end in sacrifice, huh? Is he sure about that?

"Mmn."

Sure, he won't say a word.

"... Tell him what you want," he repeats, a little more quietly. "I don't care."

[inthebiblicalsense]

Abel is quiet a moment, staring down at Cain and his sudden grumpiness. Well, he's been through a lot of emotional ups and downs, he supposes he can leave it for later, but he hadn't really wanted him to fall asleep upset.

"Alexei, you don't have to tell me what's wrong, but you don't sound all that convincing. Can...Can I do anything?"

[reargunner]

"I'm--!"

He almost snaps, that single syllable clearly conveying irritation, but then he breathes in and out and shakes his head, and pushes himself up on to his elbow again to bump his forehead softly to Abel's.

"It's not you. I'm just..."

A sigh.

"I know what I did, all right? And I know how much it fucked with you. I will never forget the way you looked at me when you confronted me about it and I told you you were right. And it just... feels weird to have all of it used like some kind of fucking therapy tool for someone else."

[inthebiblicalsense]

Abel keeps his mouth shut to listen, so he can focus on what the other man has to say, and when he's done, he can understand how that would feel a little off. He can't forget the way Alexei looked either, the way he'd practically begged him to listen and he'd refused. It was...a rather dark spot.

"Alexei, if you think I'm going to bring up your involvement to that kind of detail, I'm going to say right now that I'm not. That's personal, and that kind of...that kind of pain, it doesn't help anyone. I only asked because I can't just talk about Project Thebes in any further detail without it involving you. I wasn't- I'm not going to just share with him all the things you did. That isn't the reason I asked permission. He knows who you are to me, so when I explain that the navigators were selected without any knowledge of the project, but the fighters were informed, that's all I meant."

[reargunner]

"Mmn..."

Cain hums softly, nudging his head against Abel's again, then he huffs gently and opens his eyes to look at him. Maybe he overreacted. But... in his defence, the situation wasn't explained to him in a way that wouldn't lead him to jumping to conclusions.

"... Okay." He gives the other man a quick, soft kiss. "I trust you."

[inthebiblicalsense]

With their noses practically touching, Abel gets a good look into the other man's eyes, looking into them to try and catch anything else he might have been quietly keeping to himself, his hands smoothing over his chest, very gently pressing him back so that he can lay back down again.

"I hope you would...I've never done anything to hurt you," he gently reminds him, even when he'd been angry at him, it wasn't like he was yelling at him out of spite. He gives him a gentle kiss of his own, patting his chest reassuringly "Now, you. You're taking a nap, you look tired."

[reargunner]

Not entirely true, yet not enough for him to mention anything. He frowns a little at the way it almost feels like a jab despite knowing that probably isn't how it was meant.

Then he grunts, flopping back down under the light pressure of Abel's hand.

"Anything you need to say, even if it involves me, it's fine," he says, sounding a bit more sure of it this time. "I know you'll... be careful with it."

Then he will settle and shut his eyes, because he very much needs that nap.