inthebiblicalsense: (cityscape)
Abel (Ethan Lamaire) ([personal profile] inthebiblicalsense) wrote2024-09-23 01:30 am
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[In a very serious, business tone, Abel's answering machine sounds after any attempted calls that aren't responded to right away.]

You've reached Abel. I am not available at the moment, but I'll get back to you as soon as I can. If this is urgent, leave the line open.

And if this is Fitz I hope you're having a good day.
reargunner: (147)

[personal profile] reargunner 2025-03-11 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
A grunt.

"No."

And then he curls his arm around Ethan's chest and holds him tightly, pressing in so close it's almost as if he's trying to burrow into him.

"Not really."
reargunner: (077)

[personal profile] reargunner 2025-03-11 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Another groan. A little 'mrrgh' into Ethan's shoulder.

Then he props himself up on his elbow so he can look down at him. He looks... tired.

"Just had the worst fucking panic attack of my life."
reargunner: (209)

[personal profile] reargunner 2025-03-11 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
"I am. I just—..."

He makes a face. Frustrated. His eyes shift somewhere above Ethan's head for a moment as he pulls his thoughts together.

"I was just having a fucking smoke and it hit me out of nowhere. I had to call Lester. It felt— fuck."

A shaky breath in.

"It's never been that bad."
reargunner: (014)

[personal profile] reargunner 2025-03-11 11:55 pm (UTC)(link)
He shifts a bit as Ethan does but makes himself comfortable again, frowning softly and watching the tips of his own fingers resting against the other man's chest.

"I've been having them... on and off, since I got here."

And it's never been that much of a problem before. Never something he couldn't just push his way through.

"Can usually tell what sets it off. Not this one, though. I was fine, then I wasn't."
reargunner: (013)

[personal profile] reargunner 2025-03-12 03:02 am (UTC)(link)
Alexei just huffs softly through his nose and prods one fingertip lightly against Ethan's chest.

"Don't lecture," he grumbles softly. They both know that he has absolutely no room to and truth be told his grumbling doesn't really have any ire behind it.

"You know therapy's not an option for me, especially not here." He shifts, resting his head more comfortably against Ethan's shoulder and curling against his side. "And it's not-- I can't just talk about shit like that. I've been handling it. Or I thought I was."
reargunner: (023)

[personal profile] reargunner 2025-03-12 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
"Hmm."

He is tired, and it's still work to convince his head that he's not actually in any danger, but this is helping.

"Options seem pretty limited outside of that, from where I'm standing."

What else is there, realistically speaking?
reargunner: (159)

[personal profile] reargunner 2025-03-12 04:02 am (UTC)(link)
Siiiigh...

"I told you I tried talking to him not 'as a patient' before, yeah? It... felt weird. I didn't like it."

And he doesn't really expect that Ethan is going to understand his position on that or why he's reluctant to take that particular step. Still, at least he's not shutting down and dismissing the whole thing.

"I can't do what you do."
reargunner: (098)

[personal profile] reargunner 2025-03-12 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
"Mmf."

Alexei bumps his head lightly against Ethan's shoulder. He's frustrated with the whole thing and it shows.

"I don't-- Augh."

He sits up, curling one arm around a bent knee and scrubbing his hand against his face.

"I fucking hate this."
reargunner: (108)

[personal profile] reargunner 2025-03-12 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
He rubs his face again, his hand lingering in front of his mouth. As difficult as it is for Ethan to see, it's sure as hell not easy for him to process either.

"It's not... This isn't me trying to push you away. That's not what it is."
reargunner: (155)

[personal profile] reargunner 2025-03-12 05:10 am (UTC)(link)
There's a moment where he does stay sitting up, then he exhales slowly and closes his eyes, muttering a soft 'yeah, yeah, okay' as he drops himself down against Ethan's side again.

He settles there, shuffling a bit to get comfortable, and presses his forehead against the other man's neck.

"... Arthur made tea," he mutters, placing the palm of his hand over Ethan's heart. "It was nice."
reargunner: (080)

[personal profile] reargunner 2025-03-12 05:18 am (UTC)(link)
"Eugh—"

He shifts, moving so he can peer up at Ethan's face under his eyelashes.

"Decaf tea is disgusting and if you ever give it to me I'm throwing it down the drain."

Ethan, please.
reargunner: (103)

[personal profile] reargunner 2025-03-12 05:25 am (UTC)(link)
"Hmph..."

His eyelids dip a little when his nose is kissed, then he studies Ethan's face for a few quiet moments.

"You mean that?"
reargunner: (189)

[personal profile] reargunner 2025-03-12 06:01 am (UTC)(link)
Despite what Ethan says, Alexei does look at him for some moments more as if he's searching for a lie. It's not a comment on Ethan's own thoughts so much as his thoughts about himself and where he stands in the other man's life.

One of a laundry list of things that has been on his mind of late.

"... Hmn."

Seemingly accepting it, he sets his head back against Ethan's shoulder.

"I still wish we could... start over, sometimes. You know?"

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