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[inthebiblicalsense]

[In a very serious, business tone, Abel's answering machine sounds after any attempted calls that aren't responded to right away.]

You've reached Abel. I am not available at the moment, but I'll get back to you as soon as I can. If this is urgent, leave the line open.

And if this is Fitz I hope you're having a good day.

Comments

[inthebiblicalsense]

Abel had been gently scratching at his scalp, leaning back and resting when the question comes and opens his eyes, looking down at him.

"What for? I...I'd like to think you're doing it for you. Thinking of my own self, I have plenty of reasons to work on myself, but...to feel comfortable, normal? That's...what I want. But for you? I'd think you want to have a normal where you don't have to fight for it all the time."

He rarely ever sees him relax unless he's here, or their alone. Sometimes it happens where he can see it, and he'd like to think it does when he can't, but he couldn't know. "Am I off base?"

[reargunner]

He thinks about it for a couple of seconds. There could have been any number of possible responses to that and that one, while likely, was not that far out in front in terms of which one Alexei thought Ethan would pick.

"No, you're about right."

More or less.

"Don't know how far I can take it here, though."

[inthebiblicalsense]

"As far as you can is still a change from where you were before," he says quietly, even if he knows that's not what he'd like to hear himself, "I've been told over and over again that I need to be patient with myself, that change like this is a process, but it gets frustrating still, regardless."

He keeps feeling like he's not doing enough, or that he's lagging behind because he's told to focus on certain things at a time, but it doesn't make the feeling of not being enough or putting enough effort in go away.

[reargunner]

He doesn't say anything to that, because the topic is starting to drift over to the kinds of things he and Ethan will never see eye to eye on about the Barge and he's too tired for those kinds of things.

"Mmn. I'm gonna try to get some sleep."

This whole evening has been utterly exhausting.

"Will you still be here in the morning?"

[inthebiblicalsense]

Abel hadn't even been thinking about any of this in terms of the barge, self reflection and growth was just something that people did, right? But he doesn't question him dropping the subject, pushing the other man's bangs out of his face.

"I'm working tomorrow morning, but I'll set my alarm a little early so I can make sure to cuddle you before I have to get up. Is that acceptable?" The last bit is said with a smile, figuring it would be, but Alexei tended to not want to let him get out of bed in the mornings, so he has to ask.

[reargunner]

"Mmhm."

The time would certainly be taken whether Ethan set his alarm early or not and he makes absolutely no promises about overshooting his alotted time before the other man starts nudging at him and trying to get up.

"Yeah, sounds good to me."