TLV IC Inbox

[inthebiblicalsense]

[In a very serious, business tone, Abel's answering machine sounds after any attempted calls that aren't responded to right away.]

You've reached Abel. I am not available at the moment, but I'll get back to you as soon as I can. If this is urgent, leave the line open.

And if this is Fitz I hope you're having a good day.

Comments

[reargunner]

"There's a-... there's a book, in the Speakeasy."

He drops back against the back of the couch again and loosely folds his arms.

"For inmates to record their experiences with the wardens here, if they want to. Give others an idea of what to expect. I read it in there."

[inthebiblicalsense]

Finishing the first encryption, he closes the file for now, figuring that is safe enough. He can store the thumb drive in the safe, empty and ready to reuse when they finally leave, but he isn't going to keep that intel on there much longer.

Pushing back from the work space, he gets up, finding a spot on the couch close to him, knee touching his thigh, "Oh god...now I'm worried about what might be written in there about me."

[reargunner]

A small half-smirk pulls at his lips for a moment. He turns himself on the couch and swings his legs up over Abel's thighs, getting comfortable.

"Would you be disappointed or relieved if I told you 'nothing'?"

Abel doesn't even have his name in there. At least, not the last time he looked.

[inthebiblicalsense]

"Relieved? No offense, but I'd rather not have a bunch of unfiltered opinions about me and my conduct go up and circulate where I can't see it." He understands that the same thing happens for inmates, and people might use them for the same purpose, but he doesn't tend to do that, just posts incident reports now that he's been paired with Fitz.

He rests his arms over Cains legs, getting comfy himself and gently rubs at his calves absently, still making a face at the thought of being in a gossip book.

"Justine already compared me to a slaver for having employees in the gym after I said I didn't want someone working in there that didn't want to. It's a safety hazard, but if she thinks I can force Jacob to do anything, she's sorely mistaken." Which if that's what someone will say to his face, he's a bit concerned what they might behind his back.

[reargunner]

"Hey, it's not all bad things. There's some downright glowing reviews in there for some of them."

He does make a face at the mention of Justine and shakes his head. She sure is something.

"Wouldn't worry about her though. Can you imagine her lowering herself to walking into a dive bar?"

[inthebiblicalsense]

"Now I feel like I should guess who has the best ones...got to be Aerith on top, John Doe?" He can think of a few others but those are his top guesses.

He does laugh at the thought, shaking his head, "absolutely not." He rests his head back against the couch and sighs, "I don't remember if I said thank you, by the way. For bringing me that chip. Thats- I thought it had been destroyed, and there's so much there that can help."

Another slow breath in, "if- If I didn't treat that the way you expected me to, I'm sorry. All that was going through my head was how it's going to help me ensure you don't end up back there, in New Volga."

[reargunner]

A nod, and another nod. Aerith and John being amongst the highest opinions is a given if anyone has even only heard of them in passing. He could give a few more names but Abel keeps on talking, and he looks at the other man with his eyebrows slightly raised.

"Didn't treat me the way I expected? Where the fuck is that coming from?"

Admittedly, even with Abel's assurances, Cain is still somewhat resigned to ending up back in prison once they're tracked down and brought in. He can't really see a way out of it even if Abel manages to start court proceedings immediately.

But he's ready for it. It's fine. He tries not to think too hard about it here.

[inthebiblicalsense]

"No, no...the chip. I just started looking at it, immediately. And it obviously made you uncomfortable." He hadn't even thought twice. He'd given it back, obviously the next step was review, at least for him.

"I know you said it was fine, but I guess...I feel like I did something wrong and you had to just deal with it. Again."

[reargunner]

He scrunches his nose up a bit.

"Ethan, Jesus—" His arm props against the back of the couch and he leans into it.

"You can't always assume that I'm having an emotional response to something you did wrong. Sometimes I'm just... feeling a way about something in the moment, you know?" He scuffs his hand lightly against his hair.

"Putting shit like that on yourself every time isn't fair on you. Or me."

[inthebiblicalsense]

"How am I supposed to know the difference when you react immediately after I've done something?" He did ask, and the answer didn't exactly clarify what he was feeling, just that he wanted him to read.

"I'm trying to be more mindful, but finding a happy medium between not enough and too much is a process." His hand slides up his leg, gently gripping his thigh, "I know it's probably going to be irritating, but I'm asking to learn, not because Im trying to torture myself, or make you feel bad."

[reargunner]

... Squirm.

He grips the hand squeezing his thigh, holding it there with a bit of a warning look. That's a distraction, sir.

"Okay, lemme put it like this." Alexei pauses a moment, considering his words. "If I don't explain something it isn't because I don't want to, or because you pissed me off. Remember— remember how you said you wished you'd brought notes? Sometimes... I don't have the words I'd need right away."

He moves his hand out of his own hair to brush it over Abel's.

"... You want me to let you in, right? Well, sometimes I need a few minutes to get the door unlocked." His lips twitch in distant amusement. "I've been looking out for myself for a long time, sunshine, because no one else was. I'm still trying to figure my shit out as well."

[inthebiblicalsense]

Abel doesn't move that hand, he's holding him for grounding purposes, not for distracting, but he can feel that way if he wants to.

"I can accept that." Though that doesn't mean it makes it easier. "I just am sensitive to it, I guess. When you're upset, and I haven't been great about reacting to that lately. I don't want you to think I'm not trying."

[reargunner]

Well, he won't sit there and say Abel's been doing a fine job of most things relating to him - and them - lately. So he just lets that hang for a moment before pressing his lips together slightly.

"It's difficult for me, sometimes," he says carefully. "To expect that kind of consideration from you. To feel like I deserve it, or that it's not hypocritical of me to want to be treated well."

[inthebiblicalsense]

That hand at his thigh shifts up, taking Cains hand with it and settles on his stomach, gently touching, thumb brushing against him through his shirt.

"Well, I'd like to help with that, because you do deserve it. Is there a different way I can approach this than I have been, that will make it easier for you?"

[reargunner]

He just gives a small shake of his head.

"No. It's not you. It's me, knowing everything I put you through... It's something I have to figure out myself." Being sorry, trying to be better, it doesn't change what already happened. "If I could take it all back, I would."

[inthebiblicalsense]

He hadn't said it was him, just that perhaps his approach is off in the way that he's reaching out to him that doesn't settle the negative feelings.

"I'm told that what ifs will drive you crazy, or wishing you had done things differently." He looks down at his lap, Cain's legs across it, "if it hadn't been you assigned to me, I would have been a part of the project anyways. Cook singled me out long before they recruited you, but I'm glad it was you..." He wouldn't be sitting here now if it hadn't been.

"Don't regret all of it. You weren't so bad yourself, when you started seeing me as a person. And I could tell when it changed, I just didn't know what that meant at the time."

[reargunner]

A little snort escapes him.

"Yeah? You're not so bad either."

He ruffles his hand against the front of Abel's hair.

"Like I said, it's something I have to figure out. You're already doing enough."

[inthebiblicalsense]

"I will be if you mess up my hair," he teases, splaying his fingers across his stomach and awkwardly leaning just far enough to kiss his nose.

"Good talk. No one cried and we didn't even yell at each other."

[reargunner]

As Abel pulls back from him he chases the movement, pecking a quick kiss against his lips.

"Well, yeah. I'm not a completely unreasonable asshole."

Despite what some people might say.

[inthebiblicalsense]

That gets a soft snort out of him, patting Cain with his hand while fixing his hair with the other.

"I hope that's what someone writes about me under my name in that book. 'He's not a completely unreasonable asshole'. Middle of the road expectations are so much easier to live up to."

[reargunner]

"Hmm, I could write that in for you, but seeing your name might prompt other opinions."

He's teasing. Mostly. Abel's done him the courtesy of not writing in his ledger without permission so he won't write anything about him either. Not that it's stopped him from writing things about other people.

"Depends how you want to calculate the risk."

[inthebiblicalsense]

Abel actually considers it a moment, gently worrying his scar with his teeth.

"...if you did, and someone added something, would you tell me what it said?" He isn't sure that is so terrible, the idea of knowing if he messed up horribly if someone wasn't going to say it to his face. "I doubt people sign their name after their hot takes, but I'd like to know what people thought of me if it was there."

[reargunner]

"Sometimes you can recognise the writing, or how people say things."

Or, when it's Blitzø, because he's doodled cocks and crude drawings of horses around his entries.

"But yeah, if I saw anything? I could tell you." And only because it's Ethan. He isn't sure he'd do the same if anyone else asked.

[inthebiblicalsense]

"Mmm. Just what is said is fine. I don't need to know who said it." He's already asked Cain if he wanted the same about his Ledger so he won't ask again, assuming the answer hasn't changed.

"If you feel like it between what ever you're drinking down there, go ahead. It'd be kind of funny, honestly."

[reargunner]

"Mm, only if you're sure."

Maybe he will, maybe he won't... he'll have to think about it, knowing he'll have his own reactions if he sees someone talking shit about Abel when he might have been the one to draw their attention.

"The drinks aren't too bad. Especially not now Blitz knows he's supposed to cut the Everclear."